There are many ways to communicate with a nonverbal autistic child, getting on their level during parallel play, incorporating sign language, using pictures, utilizing communication apps or devices, and of course by never ceasing to talk to them.

Statistics show that the chances for a child to be diagnosed autism is on the rise. According to the CDC in the year 2000 the number of children diagnosed with autism was 1 in 150, in 2020 (just 20 years later) the number had jumped to 1 in 36 children that are diagnosed with some level of autism. What changed? That answer is debatable and disagreed upon by many professionals, and will be discussed at a later time. My focus today is on ways to communicate with a nonverbal autistic child, should you find yourself on this journey. We have had to navigate this new world and have had many successes in communication with our level 3 nonverbal autistic child; I would like to share some of the things that we have done to experience success with nontraditional communication.

• #5 Way to Communicate with a Nonverbal Autistic Child is to use parallel play.
• #4 Way to Communicate with a Nonverbal Autistic Child is to incorporate sign language.
• #3 Way to Communicate with a Nonverbal Autistic Child is to use pictures.
• #2 Way to Communicate with a Nonverbal Autistic Child is to incorporate a communication device.
• #1 Way to Communicate with a Nonverbal Autistic Child is to never stop talking to them.

# 5 Way to Communicate with a Nonverbal Autistic Child-USE PARALLEL PLAY

WHAT IS IT? Children begin parallel play at a young age, many around 18 months to two years of age. This type of play is when children play right alongside each other however they are not influenced by the play or behavior of the other individual. Parallel play is an important part of childhood development. For many autistic individuals this type of play will continue throughout their lives due to social limitations.

WHY IT WORKS: During parallel play social, physical, and communication skills are encouraged and practiced. These skills are integral parts of childhood development. With our nonverbal children getting down on their level and observing their behaviors during independent play time can help us better understand some of their behaviors. Autistic children learn a lot while they play alongside others including spatial awareness, emotional regulation, and social communication. Many autistic children play alone and have routines and habits such as lining up toys, sorting colors, or acting out scenarios. They may use these routines as a way to express their emotions or destress, or as a way to self-regulate. Various types of play therapy are used to try to help understand what our nonverbal children are trying to communicate.

WHAT CAN YOU DO? Get on their level. Sit on the floor with them while they play. While you are playing, verbalize what you are doing by talking to yourself. Do not expect responses and show them that playing alone and independently is fun and accepted. You can also just be present and observe. There is a lot to learn just by watching. All of our children like to feel safe and secure; knowing their person is nearby, even if they are not interacting, provides for them this feeling.

#4 Way to Communicate with a Nonverbal Autistic Child-INCORPORATE SIGN LANGUAGE

WHY IT WORKS: Sign language is a universal language that can be used for many different individuals. It is a misconception that only those with hearing impairments use sign language to communicate. Many parents teach their babies and toddlers how to sign before they are able to talk and this type of communication could be very useful in communicating with your nonverbal autistic child. Many autistic children will mimic your actions therefore showing them actions that will help them communicate can be very helpful in their communication journey.

WHAT SHOULD I DO? It is suggested that when attempting to teach your autistic child to use sign language that you start with simple and common words. The goal is to communicate a need or desire and sometimes one simple hand motion can quickly obtain that goal. Eat, drink, more, and all done are very common signs to begin with on your sign language journey. When we started to incorporate sign language, we were very excited when he quickly seemed to pick up on the sign “more”, however after a week he stopped using it. We were very discouraged but decided to continue to use a few simple signs throughout our daily activities. Slowly he picked them up and would use them sporadically. We never established a full-time routine of sign language however at times it has been useful for us for our communication with him. I have seen multiple other families that have had more success than we have experienced with using sign language. This in turn has helped to reminds me that it is important to always remember that all of our children are different and what works great for one may not work at all for another. It is all part of the ASD journey.

WHERE SHOULD I LOOK FOR RESOURCES? I personally used YouTube videos the most so that I could see people doing the actions rather than just looking at pi
ctures. There are many wonderful websites that offer advice, videos, and some free classes for those wanting to learn more deeply\

#3 Way to Communicate with a Nonverbal Autistic Child-USE PICTURES

WHAT IS IT? Throughout our journey of learning to communicate with our nonverbal child we have used many picture cards and picture boards. Young children typically have a pretty structed and set routine for their day (if this is something you struggle with see my blog titled 5 Ways to Get your Child on a Schedule). If you really think about it, they do not do all that many types of activities in a given day. Having picture cards that either of you can point to in order to communicate is very helpful. For example, we have a card with bacon and eggs that says “breakfast”, a card with a picture of books that says, “reading time”, a card with a picture of a toilet that says, “Potty time”, etc… These can be used individually or can be set in a row to prepare the child for their day. Many autistic children like routine and do not always handle unexpected change without issues. Having a modifiable picture board (Velcro works great) can help them see the plan for their entire day and if things need to be rearranged then you can show them with pictures what to expect. This also works wonders with discussing and learning how to express and control emotions.

HOW DO I GET THOSE? Picture cards and picture boards can be purchased or in my opinion, easily made. I was able to find free printables online or I made my own using Google Slides and Google Docs by copy and pasting simple pictures that I found using image search and adding my own text boxes with descriptions. If you print your own I suggest purchasing clear contact paper to put a protective and easily wiped off surface. You can also add small pieces of Velcro to the back to make your own rearrangeable picture board.

#2 Way to Communicate with a Nonverbal Autistic Child-INCORPORATE A COMMUNICATION DEVICE

WHAT IS THIS? Tablets, smartphones, and other Alternative and Augmentative Communication (AAC) devices can give a voice to someone that otherwise cannot communicate. There are countless apps and learning resources available for our nonverbal children that can be added to these devices. Some of the games and apps are free while others may come with a price. Technology has come a long way, and while I encourage a limit to the amount of time that your child spends looking at a screen, we definitely have seen benefits from using technology in our communication journey.

WHAT IF IT COSTS TOO MUCH? There are multiple options for funding the technology needs for your autistic child. If your child is enrolled in public school, then you may be able to receive a device from the school. You need to contact the special education coordinator in your district and ask for an evaluation for this service. (bookmark this site to read my future blog post on Ways to Get an AAC Device for FREE)

Many states have resources available for individuals with special needs and offer services and materials that assist individual in reaching educational goals and life skills. Click here for a list of offices by state. —> State Vocational Rehabilitation Agencies

Medicaid and insurance companies will cover all or some of the cost of the expensive devices as well as the apps that are necessary to assist with the communication and learning. In order to utilize these benefits, it is essential that your child have an official diagnosis from a medical provider. We have found that many services that are available through Medicaid or insurance require a recommendation from the child’s doctor and an actual prescription. Our son received an AAC device after his doctor recommended him for an evaluation with a speech pathologist. From there the speech pathologist linked us with a local medical supply company that provides these types of technology, and we went from there. The process took many months; however his device has played a pivotal role in his language and communication development and all of the “hassle” and waiting was well worth it. He has experienced multiple rewards from his device outside of communication including learning to spell words, read words, and for full sentences. (bookmark this site to read my future blog post on Ways to Get an AAC Device for FREE)

#1 Way to Communicate with a Nonverbal Autistic Child-NEVER STOP TALKING TO THEM

WHY IT IS IMPORTANT: Your child many not be responding, they may not appear to be hearing a word you say, however this should never be a reason to stop talking to them. I wholeheartedly believe that our children, whether neurodivergent or neurotypical, whether toddler or teenager, are always listening to what we are saying. The more language a child is exposed to the more likely they are to learn and pick up on new words.

The old school way of thinking claimed that if a child was nonverbal at age four than their chances of speaking were slim to none. THEY WERE WRONG! New studies have shown that this is not accurate, and many nonverbal children eventually develop language skills; some even becoming completely verbal while others may be able to communicate in simple phrases. If we give up speaking to our children, we may never experience their full potential. Any communication development is positive and can make such an amazing difference in improving the relationship you have with your child.

HOW CAN I DO THIS? For our autistic kiddos we should narrate what we are doing on a regular basis. For example, when you are helping them get dressed explain every step, every time. “It’s time to put on your shirt; first it goes over your head, now we put in your right arm…your left arm, and we pull it down over your belly”. Speak to them as though they are helping and responding.

Another suggestion that worked for us is to encourage them to speak when they are using nonverbal communication to ask for something. For example, our son used to bring us his cup when he was thirsty. Before we would take the cup from him, we would encourage him to say “Drink please”. We would repeat this at least three times before we would take the cup from him. He didn’t actually say this until he was 6 years old, after years of us using this practice. He now consistently brings us his cup and says “Drink please” without us prompting him. This takes patience and consistency but the reward of joy that comes when they begin saying words or phrases is indescribable.

Side note: As with any age of child, be careful to avoid talking as though they are not there, they hear you.

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DISCLAIMER: I am not a medical professional. These tips come from my own personal experience as a momma of four beautiful children. Use these tips at your own risk and discretion.